Fasting is How I Pray

I started fasting 4 days ago. I fast to communicate my commitment to achieving a task to God. I’m an emotional eater so fasting is my way of showing God that I am willing to be uncomfortable to get what I am praying/ hoping for.

So lets take this entry one “Bite” at a time.

When I was little when I cried grandma would give me a cookie. My solace from an abusive household was Grandmas house. Grandma had cookies, sodas, personal pizzas, candy, pies, chips…the list goes on and on. As a child I equated security, peace, and joy with food…really really fatty food. I ate until I couldn’t eat anymore or it didn’t hurt anymore rather. My Grandmother was the most loving person I have ever met. So I also began to equate food with Love. So a I grew to quell the pains of rejection, hurt, and depression I would pour food over it. I literally found relief in food. It was like a drug.

When I was a teenager I was raped. And like magic my body image issues had a purpose… protection. If I was big and got bigger, who would look at me? Who would bother me? Nobody! So I ate and tried my best to become invisible. All the while, allowing all my emotional needs to be met by my sweet sweet lover called FOOD. During my first Reiki session (we’ll talk about reiki later) I was told that if I continued to eat the way I was eating I would end up leaving this plane. So I decided to fast, thinking it was just about my weight.

Fasting, you will lose weight but its not about losing weight. For me it began about cleansing, and then became more about a connection with God. A connection I rely heavily on to complete all of my fasts.

I usually fast for at least two weeks. When most people hear me say that Im fasting they immediately assume I’m not eating at all. This is not true. Fasting means to go without something that you usually rely on to get through the day. Someone can fast from chocolate, liquor, or processed foods. Some fast from sun up to sundown. Some go without all food. I usually fast 24/7 for, like I said, at least two weeks. I employ the Daniel fast which is a fast which includes only fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, and water. Sometimes I may end a fast with the Lemonade cleanse. If I do this, I will add a few days of just liquid to get my body ready to only consume the lemonade blend.

I wouldn’t recommend such an intense fast for those who are not used to fasting, as my first attempt at fasting landed me in the hospital. Your body needs to be prepared for the journey. People say you shouldn’t tell anyone you’re fasting because they may intentionally or unintentionally discourage you. While I feel that a fast is a personal thing between you and God I think that it is also important to let those who love you know what’s going on. Your mind, body, and spirit needs to be prepared for what you are attempting.

The first days may include headaches and discomfort as your body is getting used to being without certain impurities. There is a literal detox phase as if you were detoxing from a drug. After the first few days is when the really fun starts. Your relationship to feed will be revealed. I discovered my dependence on food when I got into an argument with a friend and immediately went to dial the nearest pizza place for chicken and pizza. Without the food to muffle my feelings I was forced to deal with them, or at the very least, acknowledge them.

My longest fast lasted 3 months. I was fasting for my brother who was incarcerated at the time. Fasting has become the way I pray. I prayed to God that my brother be released, I visited him every week, and I cried a lot. But I believed and promised God that I would fast until he came home and I did. Some may say that my fast had nothing to do with his release but my fast was my way of backing up my prayers. So many of us go to God with a laundry list of things we want and don’t utter one word about what we are willing to do for the blessing, or about our commitment to the blessing.

For those who say the price has already been paid, I say this, I understand but if some one came to you once and said they really needed some water and would die without it but then never said anything about the water again, would you think them serious? What if that person got up every morning at 4 am and cleaned out a pitcher and walked it to you and asked for water? After 3 months, what would you do? This is how I view fasting. When I fast it is my way of saying, “God, I’m serious”. Whatever I’m asking for is more important than food, than my comfort, than my drug, than my crutch.

When I fast, I feel clearer, and more focused. It has also taken the comfort off of food and placed my comfort in God. Is it hard? Hell yeah it’s hard! Am I saying everyone should fast? No. I think each person should do research and look into how best to achieve whatever they are looking for, be it a slimmer physique or a closer relationship with God.

So I’m back at the alter, I’m fasting and I plan on fasting for the next 3 months. This will be a ride. But I’m glad you guys are here for the journey! Tally hoe!